R.E.M. ~ Everybody Hurts: http://youtu.be/HoG2i_h420A
My fight against the ghost of Stiff Person Syndrome continues. I haven’t had any hospital treatment since December 2013. I live my life in my bedroom alone. I am unable to tolerate moment, sound, light, vibration.
The beauty of my tot’s laughter causes so much pain, it leaves me sobbing into my pillow. All I wish for is to be my tot’s mummy, to hold them, spend time with them. ….However , they are so close, yet so far away. It almost feels like they are behind a sheild of glass, I can see them, but I am unable to care for them, run with them across the sea front, watch Olivia-Beth in her performing art’s shows or see Mollie-Jai and Dylan swim.
I am missing their childhood, whilst I am hunched in a ball in my bed, cocooned in four walls of silence, in an attempt to decrease the impact of yet another spasm.
Without the correct treatment, it is only a matter of time that Stiff Person Syndrome robs my children of their mummy.
Will the next spasm leave me laying in the arms of the angels ??? Xxx